Headaches Suck - Video 2

"Natural Solutions"...... and Why I Think They're Crap

FIRST - understand that (although bipolar is 'all in our head') it is literally ALL in our head, there is actually a chemical imbalance that's going on in our noggins that we cannot control on our own, just by a wish, hoping and praying.  Here's just ONE (short) explanation I found online: 

The Brain and Bipolar Disorder. ... Three brain chemicals -- noradrenaline (norepinephrine), serotonin, and dopamine -- are involved in both brain and bodily functions. Noradrenaline and serotonin have been consistently linked to psychiatric mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder.

You can ask almost everyone with this illness or who have an opinion on these types of illnesses and you'll get many, many different, 'magical' natural solutions.  Oils, aromatherapy, baths, injections, ECT (electroshock therapy).... you'll even hear "ignore it and it'll go away"..... and my absolute favorite "Smile, think happy thoughts and you'll be happy"..... the whole 'fake it till you make it' shit.  

I'm sorry - - but it's all shit.  Yes, some, SOME of those things may work for a little while, some of those things may make things bearable or tolerable for a little bit, but I wholeheartedly believe that if someone who is bipolar wants to have long-term success in curbing their symptoms and have a chance at a (somewhat, although difficult) normal, functional life - - medication is a necessity.  Yes, I said it, you NEED medication.  

Please don't tell me that whatever works for you WILL work for me.  I know people that say these things are saying them with good intentions, usually.... however, this is different for EVERYONE.  But (this comparison is made quite frequently) if someone came to you with diabetes and said they are struggling with their medications in order to get healthy again - - would you suggest that they just smile and their diabetes symptoms will go away and they'll be better?  If someone who had cancer is frustrated with their daily meds - would you tell them to use a few drops of natural oils on their forehead and go to bed early, then they'll feel better??  

What works for me -- it's a combination of things, and it seems to be the most common solutions for most people.  Medication + talk therapy + cognitive behavior modifications = a better, happier, tolerable life.... that still has daily struggles and problems.... but it's my life and a lot of our lives that live with bipolar disorder.  .....SO - what is all that??

MEDICATION: There are many, many medications and combinations of medications that a person can take.  Some take care of the root of the problem and others take care of horrible side effects from those previous mentioned medications.  There are hundreds, maybe even thousands of different combinations of meds that a person can take.  The HUGE down-side of this, is that most of these medications don't start working until they've been in your system for 4-6 weeks.... and in the meantime can cause horrible headaches, blurred/strange vision, worse mood-swings, suicidal thoughts and deeper depression than before.  BUT if it's the right combination, you'll feel much better in a bit over a month.  However, if you do not feel better (or God forbid you feel worse) you'll have to ween OFF the meds and THEN try a new combination.  This is a horrible, time consuming process we must go through in order to get the right meds.

These are MY morning meds - some I have to take 2 or 3 times a day.
I have another bag, similar in size for my nighttime meds.

TALK THERAPY:  Obviously this is a therapist, a counselor... someone who is actually TRAINED to listen to our crap and help us deal with things, deal with what life throws at us.  The ONLY way that talk therapy will help a person is if they are 100% honest and open and raw with their therapist.  This will hurt for awhile.... short while, long while.... it will hurt, but you will benefit from it greatly.  (Honestly, I think EVERYONE should see a therapist, whether you have a mental illness or not.... shoot.....).

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR MODIFICATIONS:  These are things you can do at home, different hobbies and habits that will make your life easier and smoother.  Find things you like, do them more often.  JOURNAL!  BLOG!  Talk to a friend over coffee once a week, take more baths, put make up on once a week, make sure you shower and get clean, try to get out of bed even when you don't feel like it.  You must do little things in your daily life in order to make your overall life better.  Doesn't matter what you DO do, in the end, sometimes the illness will still take over and still hurt you down deep in your core.  

So.... if you ask me, 'Natural Solutions' to this, ACTUAL, MEDICAL problem that is a REAL chemical imbalance in our brain is a bullshit, crappy way of offering help.  If you really wants to help - ASK your loved one HOW you can help - - you don't know what's best for them or what they've tried ..... but the biggest thing we appreciate is someone being honest with us and asking us how to help and showing that you care!!  

Show Love.... 

Much Love, 

Doing Ok.... Video 1

Taking Your Life... Stopping the Suffering

So.... there have been many, many (TOO many) people committing suicide lately and not everyone understands.  In fact - very, very few understand unless they've actually been in that situation with the razor or the pills or the gun or the poison that will end their suffering.

There's SO much I could say and want to say right now, but I'm so frustrated by this topic at the moment, I'll share a few pictures and links:

Here's a good read:

41 Secrets of Suicide Attempt Survivors

RIP CHESTER BENNINGTON

You have helped so many through OUR difficult times, 

I wish you were able to get through yours!!  XOXO

Much Love,

It's All in Your Head

Not enough people understand depression, bipolar, anxiety and other mental illnesses.... and because I  am afflicted with these, I thought that I would open up my head and my life and show the world that it is truly 'All in Your Head'..... we can't control things most people can or what others think we should be able to.  Keep in mind that these illnesses are different for everyone.... and this is just my struggles & journey and no one else's, but hopefully it'll give some insight to the curious ones OR may help someone deal and help a loved one also suffering with a mental illness.

First off I'll explain that I'm going to use this blog as a sort of diary/journal and I'm going to be as transparent and sometimes raw and authentic as possible.  I have avenues of getting help that I can and will take if it gets bad, so I don't want my readers to worry about my safety.  I have a very loving, caring, understanding & observant husband who always has my best interest at heart & gets me the appropriate help when I need it and can't get it myself.

Next, I should share with you all my actual, multiples diagnosises.... diagnosis, um.... whatever.  You get it, my documented illnesses.  I want to explain first, that years ago bipolar disorder was called major depressive disorder, or major depression.... but now it's called bipolar.  I am bipolar.  It is also possible to have severe depression with bipolar illness, which I also have.  I also suffer from horrible anxiety and PTSD from an incident that happened years ago.... I may decide to share those details later, but it's not military related (like most people assume).  Also documented is borderline personality disorder.  Now.... this may sound like a helluva lot of different illnesses, however it is very common for people that have one of these to have one or more of the others.... sometimes they go hand in hand, one can cause another, etc.  So it's a lot - but it's common.

Along with those mental illnesses.... I also have physical problems.  I am going to mention these now so that it's clear why I see so many doctors & take so many meds.  I have a thyroid problem, I'm anemic with low iron, migraines, restless leg syndrome and insomnia (which cause manic episodes due to my bipolar disorder).  I have also had weight loss surgery in 2015 which has caused me to take multiple vitamins along with all my other meds..... fun!!

Now.... the wording I use may bother some or might not be politically correct or may be vulgar ..... but like I said, I'm going to use this as a journal of sorts and be as transparent as possible, so you may get swear words or slang or whatever.  This isn't English class, so I don't care.  When I say that "I SUFFER" from a specific illness, it is because I DO suffer from it.... I would love to sound and be strong enough to say that I am living with an illness or however else people want to word it "I have an illness, it doesn't have me"..... but unfortunately my illnesses make me suffer, they hurt, they cause pain and problems in my life and my marriage and all my friendships.  I DO suffer from my illnesses.  Not all the time, but it happens, I do.  Overall - - these illnesses ARE all in our head.  When you hear people say "It's all in your head" and people take offense to that - they shouldn't.  Because these are all in your head.... some days, we just can't contain them on the inside.

Much Love,