First off I'll explain that I'm going to use this blog as a sort of diary/journal and I'm going to be as transparent and sometimes raw and authentic as possible. I have avenues of getting help that I can and will take if it gets bad, so I don't want my readers to worry about my safety. I have a very loving, caring, understanding & observant husband who always has my best interest at heart & gets me the appropriate help when I need it and can't get it myself.
Next, I should share with you all my actual, multiples diagnosises.... diagnosis, um.... whatever. You get it, my documented illnesses. I want to explain first, that years ago bipolar disorder was called major depressive disorder, or major depression.... but now it's called bipolar. I am bipolar. It is also possible to have severe depression with bipolar illness, which I also have. I also suffer from horrible anxiety and PTSD from an incident that happened years ago.... I may decide to share those details later, but it's not military related (like most people assume). Also documented is borderline personality disorder. Now.... this may sound like a helluva lot of different illnesses, however it is very common for people that have one of these to have one or more of the others.... sometimes they go hand in hand, one can cause another, etc. So it's a lot - but it's common.
Along with those mental illnesses.... I also have physical problems. I am going to mention these now so that it's clear why I see so many doctors & take so many meds. I have a thyroid problem, I'm anemic with low iron, migraines, restless leg syndrome and insomnia (which cause manic episodes due to my bipolar disorder). I have also had weight loss surgery in 2015 which has caused me to take multiple vitamins along with all my other meds..... fun!!
Now.... the wording I use may bother some or might not be politically correct or may be vulgar ..... but like I said, I'm going to use this as a journal of sorts and be as transparent as possible, so you may get swear words or slang or whatever. This isn't English class, so I don't care. When I say that "I SUFFER" from a specific illness, it is because I DO suffer from it.... I would love to sound and be strong enough to say that I am living with an illness or however else people want to word it "I have an illness, it doesn't have me"..... but unfortunately my illnesses make me suffer, they hurt, they cause pain and problems in my life and my marriage and all my friendships. I DO suffer from my illnesses. Not all the time, but it happens, I do. Overall - - these illnesses ARE all in our head. When you hear people say "It's all in your head" and people take offense to that - they shouldn't. Because these are all in your head.... some days, we just can't contain them on the inside.
Much Love,
